The great balancing act of awareness
So...Haiti. I heard about the devastation the day it happened. I was listening to NPR as I drove. I was alone--no kids (rare), so I didn't have anything to distract me from the story. And I cried. Then as soon as I could, I turned it off. I donated to a relief organization and thereafter avoided thinking about it, reading about it. I didn't want to live in that place, because I could imagine it too well.
Is this a common trait of writers? I would think so. I can't just hear what they're telling me. I imagine it out. I see a child, and see what's happened to her, to her home, her family. I create the setting, the characters, until it becomes real in my head. I imagine the moment. I get trapped in it. I guess I make my living with my imagination, but it's always there, whether I need it for writing a book or not. This is why I can't watch horror movies--I'm fine during the movie. Sure, I get a little jumpy, but I can appreciate the storytelling, especially if it's well done. But it's after the movie... I can't sleep that night, or the next, or the next, because I keep replaying the movie in my head, imagining new scenes, putting myself into it. My husband is mystified by this, but I didn't sleep well for three weeks after watching The Ring. No more horror for me.
But, Haiti... Can I ignore that? Is it my responsibility as a human being to do more? Is it enough to donate some money then ignore the rest? We tell and retell stories about the Holocaust because we can't ever forget. As soon as we forget, as soon as we stop caring about what happened, then we risk allowing that to happen again. But it hurts so much to think about it. To imagine. I don't know how much my heart can take. I'm so much more tender than I used to be. Having kids has done that to me, and losing my sister. I can't feel all the pain without getting crushed.
I don't know the balance of that yet. How much to be aware, and how much to let go. But I thought I could do one more thing at least. There are many wonderful organizations involved in relief efforts. Here's a list of some respectable ones. It's my birthday this week. If you're in a position to donate to our friends in Haiti and were just waiting for an extra nudge, consider it a birthday present to me. Because of course, you'd all planned on getting me a present, right? Isn't that who you usually shop for--family, close friends, and that one author whose blog you sometimes read? If you're under 18, do NOT donate without parental permission and blame me! I don't need those angry emails, children.