I do believe in fairies and first drafts

Thanks for all your comments last post. I found them all very interesting and several points I think deserve further discussion another day.

But first I must crow.

Callooh Callay! I stand atop the dresser with my fists on my hips like Peter Pan and declare, "Oh, the cleverness of me!" I finished a first draft.

By the time I finish and publish a book, it's no longer mine. I don't really feel that I wrote princess academy or book of a thousand days. It seems like too much for one person to do. Besides, now those stories don't belong to me anymore. They've split and become hundreds of thousands of individual stories, each belonging to their individual reader-creators.

But the first draft is always ALL mine. In all it's glory, it is me, me, me! I did that, I claim that, I own that. I thunk it all up with my very own brain. I'm the only person in the world who knows that story, who read that story, who controls that story. Midnight in Austenland is all mine. Mwahahaha!

I already know what will happen tomorrow. A creeping unease will crawl over me, tickle me at night, nag at me during the day: "But what if it's all crap? And what if I can't fix it? What if it remains crap forever and ever and ever?"

Be quiet, evil thoughts, I say! No matter today! Today I am the conquering hero, I am winged victory. I am youth and joy, and I crow to the sky, "Oh, clever, clever me! I wrote a first draft all by myself!"