Three pet peeves to cheer up your Wednesday

"I feel badly." That's shocking! Do you have leprosy? Some kind of neural dysfunction? Linguists, please correct me if I'm wrong, but "I feel badly" is commenting on one's ability to feel, not state of emotion. We don't say I feel sadly or I feel happily. If you want to say how you're feeling, the state of your emotions, an adjective, not adverb, is correct. I heard Donald Trump correct someone on TV the other day with this very phrase. I used to think it was a weird regional phenomenon, but if the Donald has been taken in, it's clearly a widespread plague. And it's got to stop!

Recently we were driving on a highway going 55 MPH. Dean was driving. I look over and see the man racing alongside us, texting as he went. I counted how long he was looking down: 1...2...3...4...5... He looked up to see that yes, he was still more or less in his lane and still going 55, so down he looked again, 1...2...3...4...5... My math isn't great, but I think at that speed we were going 400 ft in 5 seconds. Who in their right mind is comfortable driving 400 ft without looking? I glared at him till he noticed me. I hope he understood: Hey, Jackwad! I've got kids in this car! You are being reckless and stupid and putting my kids' lives at stake! He did look properly chagrined and put down his phone. We caught up with him again a mile or so later. Back at it again. This arrogance gets me riled up. Really? What you're doing is SOOO important you're willing to risk your life and others'? You're probably checking email and reading a news blip about celebrity divorces. Jackwad.

Since H1N1 outbreak, so many public places have installed sanitizer dispensers. This is great! Until I go to use it, discover that the sanitizer is out, so now my hands are not only still dirty, but I've infected them with all the bacteria and viruses left behind by other sanitizer seekers. Ugh.

A little snark, properly directed, can change the world. Snark away, my friends.