Rumors I've heard about myself

One of the strangest things about this tiny, psuedo-fame thing is how often people I know tell me things they've heard about me from people I've never met. Here are a few.

1. I was Stephenie Meyer's roommate at BYU.

Never went to BYU. Was never Stephenie Meyer's roommate. How do these things get started?

2. In order to attend a Utah librarian conference in Southern Utah, I insisted on flying in a private jet and being picked up at the airport in a limo.

This cracks me up. It's based on some fact--I was invited to speak at the conference but couldn't get away for the two-plus days, so they offered to fly me in and out the same day (one of those $89 commuter airfares). A kind librarian picked me up at the airport in her minivan. It was a very nice minivan, vaccumed carpets (a thing almost unheard of in my mommy-van experience). I noticed the carpets because I was so pregnant sick I spent at least an hour lying on the floor of her car.

3. I'm a millionaire.

Nope.

4. I have a full-time nanny, day and night.

I do? Where has she been hiding? I could totally use her! I did have a night nanny for 2 months after the birth of my twin babies--5 nights/week, 8 hours/night. It was great. I also have a sitter for 12 hours/week, when I do my writing. Would I want her full time or even half days? You bet! Why don't I? See question 3.

5. I was the cover model for Libba Bray's Beauty Queens.

Okay, so, yeah, I'm the one who's been trying to start this rumor. It's been really slow to catch on. Who knew it was so hard to start a rumor on the internet?

6. My real name is Shannon Hell.

No one has said this explicitly, but thanks to the regional accent of my home state, this is what people call me. It's HALE, you fine, weird people. Long "A."

Have you heard rumors about me? Ever heard ridiculous rumors about yourself? Spill!